TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize