***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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