gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize