I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
