He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize