It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
