I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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