Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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