Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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