Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
