that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm too high and old for this...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
