Porn is love you can see.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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