Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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