I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
His hands were made for my vagina.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
