Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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