i think my tv is drunk
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
