i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
