can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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