Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
