All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
