As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize