Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
