Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
