Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
