How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
my shit smells like andre
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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