glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
