dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
