Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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