it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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