And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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