Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
