I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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