Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
