i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
People in love make me want to vomit
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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