Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I think people are normalizing furries
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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