the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
