You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
