I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize