This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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