I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
