I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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