another moral hangover. fuck.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
