Sry I called you an 8
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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