Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
