Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
