we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
