I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
