i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
