omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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