I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Panties = found
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