Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
