im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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