Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
