Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
