Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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