Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
