question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
