Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
