i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
